so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
