You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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