No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
