No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just had sex bonerless
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
