If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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