Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I wish you could order shots online.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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