She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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