i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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