Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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