R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
