We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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