Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Randomize
