Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
