i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
