well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
