It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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