If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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