people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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