I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
