Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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