I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
