Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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