I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
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