Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
