What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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