Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
