so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
