I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
There's always time for handjobs
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
don't judge my taste in strippers
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
