How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
