in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
