Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize
