Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
