You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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