I have demons in me.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
