I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
