you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
