his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I still have a little drunk in my system
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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