I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
