She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
