matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
