maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
