So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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