Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
