I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
