Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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