There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
