apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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