Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
