More tranny stories later!
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
