The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
