Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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