you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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