We won't sleep together?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
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