what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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