It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
