And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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