The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
