"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
