he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
