nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
