you would pick up someone in the library
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
