i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Ketchup is God's man juice
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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