"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
