I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
