OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just had sex bonerless
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
