I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
of course. lets lasso hookers.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
